They say, in Heaven, love comes first.

29-JAN-2011 09:56
 
Today I woke up
More awake than I have felt in years
Not concerned with anything
No tears
I'm done with that shit
« Alkaline Trio, "This Is Getting Over You" »

Boardgaming last night ran late. It was 0600 before I was in bed and asleep.  And then I had a very good dream.  The details I remember, though they're inconsequential to this.

I've never been able to nap.  I go to sleep, I'm out for hours.  If I wake up or have to wake up earlier, I'm groggy and useless until the interest is paid.

What was strange today was that I woke up after this long dream, expecting to turn and see it was 1500 or later in the afternoon.  After all, I'd been awake for over twenty-four hours previous.

It was just after 0900.

In a bit, I will consult the googles regarding quality of dreams and well-rested-ness.  And no, I do not think I will be "binging" it.

"Why can't you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?"
"Gee, it's easy."
« Lloyd Dobler and Constance Dobler, Say Anything »

I still wouldn't say that, in the real world, I am happy.  I figure it's because, on some level, I didn't want to be.  I'd whine about it, sure.  A whole fucking lot, just going through this site.  I thought there was a certain nobility in unhappiness.  Damned Catholic upbringing.

Suffering doesn't automatically make you a hero.
« James Sterling, Leverage, "The Two-Horse Job" »

I got logged out from inactivity while submitting, and I'm constructing this from memory. This part here, lost quite a bit. I really don't remember where I went.

Suffice it to say, I have changed my mind.

Perhaps it was hanging out with kids half my age at the gaming store.  Or the old guys twice my age.  Or talking about humanism with someone whose day job is teaching history.  Or watching The Golden Compass for the umpteenth time because TNT wants to make the most of their investment.  Or being told by Lacy that I am no longer in my mid-20s; I am in my late-20s.

Fuck a Republic of Heaven. We know I'm far too selfish for that. No, instead, an Independent State of Heaven.  Eh, still somewhat grandiose.  A Backyard of Heaven.  And I will be its queen.

Er, king.  King.