On eye contact: I don't generally do it. When I'm talking to someone, I'll look away, or at the floor, or through them. When I walk, I try keep my head down to minimize chance contact. The only time I can get a clear image of what someone looks like is when they're focusing elsewhere. Why? It makes me nervous. I don't need any more of a reason. I just keep my hat low and my eyes averted.
My mood's been up and down this week. From Saturday it descended until Monday night, when Selena called. I hadn't talked to her in almost six months. She'd just gone through some hard times. Break up, friends screwing her over, job loss. But I managed to make her laugh. And making her feel better made me feel better.
So there was a turnaround. Tuesday I drank with some LnL guys after Coffeehouse. Wednesday I secured a position [assistant crew chief] for the Presidents of the United States of America concert on Saturday.
Last night was the first night of the intramural ultimate tourney. I'd entered with the people with whom I play frisbee some Tuesday nights. And we won, ten to seven. It was pretty sweet.
Today was going all right, despite Fehribach calling everyone in the math department to tell them that I might possibly fail Advanced Calculus. So I got a call from the math department secretary on my way to the Adv. Calc. quiz this morning. She was making sure I was awake. And I find an email from Christopher telling me that Fehribach told him the score and that I shouldn't drop the ball the last term of my senior year.
Uh, thanks...
The day took a dive when Brittany stole my hat. Hence the opening paragraph. I needed the cover. Well, I wouldn't if I wasn't sober. Either way, anxiety flooded in. And anger. But it's all right now. Eventually got the hat back and I'm pre-gaming as I type, which is kind of a gamble. I need it to deal with large groups of people, but if don't go anywhere, I'll feel that much worse.
A crapshoot.
Well, long story short, the week's been full of ups and downs. At the moment my mood's holding relatively steady, though at a low altitude.