12·06·01 Very Early Morning

06-DEC-2001 00:00
I'm upset
Happiness is not a fish
That you can catch
Imagination can't resist
The laziness
That pins you down
Get on your knees...
« Our Lady Peace, "Happiness & The Fish" »

I slept most of the day, in various places. I got back from the website thing with Liam around eleven, then went for a quick drive with Chad down Route 9. After that, Lindsay came over. Went grocery shopping, then I fell asleep on the couch. Then, LnL meeting and movie at Psyci's. Enemy Of The State. Still a decent movie. "Subject is down... down, permanently..." Heh.

Dispersal was timed this time. From the beginning of the credits. Almost complete dispersal [down to the people who lived there, Lindsay and myself] occurred within one minute and 42 seconds. And about thirty seconds later, it was just Lindsay, Psyci, and myself. Yep. So we hung for a bit. Then I made some comment, and Lindsay left. So Psyci and I talked for about an hour or so. And then I came back home.

I'm not in the best shape mentally right now... sometimes I feel so out of it. And unwanted... Very unwanted. And insecure. That's more like all the time, though.

... And I'm really sick of wanting things that I have absolutely no chance of getting. And no matter what you may be thinking, that isn't everything that I'm talking about.

And it was evening
I saw my breath
And I was needing to hear your tenderness
I was blinded by the sight, the power of the changing tide of
Your nature
Stay singing softly
You take me home
Like a slow boat on the water
Like an old stone...
« Hothouse Flowers, "Your Nature" »

12·06·01 Later That Very Early Morning

06-DEC-2001 00:15
How many times have you been pushed around
Was anybody there
Does anybody care
      And how many times have your friends let you down
      Was anybody there
      Did anybody stare...
And how many days have you just slept away
Is everybody high
Is everyone afraid
      And how many times have you wished you were strong
      Have they ever seen your heart
      Have they ever seen your pain...
« Our Lady Peace, "Life" »

12·06·01 Early Evening

06-DEC-2001 19:00
Degeneration 'cross the nation
Lonely callers, masturbation for a minute
Just can't stay
      All the wheelers and the dealers
      And the zombies kill the feelings
      With a bottle and a vial
      And I'm on my way
I see my mother
Watch her dream just smother
Don't wanna sing the graveyard song...
      Whisper in my ear, dear [tell me something]
      Why does suicide have such appeal [never nothin']
      No way out...
« D Generation, "No Way Out" »

Lack of motivation and lack of a girlfriend aren't my only problems.