11·14·01 Very Early Morning

14-NOV-2001 00:00
I do not deserve to live,
But for some reason you say I must
Why I ask, so I can only make things worse
So that the next time I open my mouth you can watch me
Falling so hard that I begin to crack
« Jonathan Stone »

11·14·01 Pre-Dawn

14-NOV-2001 03:00
I'm going to respond in kind [i.e., in a non-personal way] to a message I took to be written to/about me. This was the message:

To all of you who I once thought I loved, but who never told me anything real, and even now won't talk to me: You are not my friends.  I'm sorry I spent so much time worrying about you.
« Kate Farb-Johnson »

And my response:

We were never really friends before we started dating. And now it's clear we're totally different people in such aspects as philosophy and what we want in life. We couldn't even talk to each other without an argument ensuing.

Come to think of it, you never could stand someone not totally agreeing with you. And if someone held fast to their opinion, you'd flee. Well... that's not entirely true... you might write them a note and slip it under their door. Or, in my case, write something scathing about the "living dead" and post it on your site.

So, anyway, how could it possibly be a good idea to remain friends? It's "unfortunate" that you spent so much time worrying about me. But to repeat something I said to you five months ago: "In true living dead fashion, I won't let it get to me."

Someone needs to devise a metaphorical elephant gun to shoot those damned high horses out from under people.