Today I tried to ask out Audrey. She's the ridiculously cute girl in my Elements of Writing class mentioned in the previous entry. And I fucked it up, marvelously.
So it's after class. I go, "Hey, Audrey... Um... Uh... I— Uh..." etc., for a while. At one point I say, "I was going to say something but... I can't remember what I wanted to say." And she says it was maybe about Blade Runner, as that was the last coherent thought I expressed to her. I say no, and keep stumbling for a bit more. What I want to say is, "Hey, what are you up to this weekend? I was wondering if you'd be interested in doing something this weekend," or something like that. What comes out is, "You make me nervous." Then she says, "I make you nervous?" And she apologizes.
Well, shit. Now I made her feel bad. So I don't know how, but I extricate myself. Or I just drop it and she decides to, too. And I kind of blow out of there as fast as I can. Fight or flight, you understand.
Sigh. Winamp, with Brand New's "Failure By Design" followed up with Ellis Paul's "Sweet Mistakes". Kicking me when I'm down. God, why must I be such a wreck when it comes to girls? Sorry, sorry. I'm not doing well at the whole abstinence from self-abuse thing.
Well, either way. The mundane details of ordinary life. IQP continues. MQP seems to have hit a wall where Alison and I are mad at each other and badmouth each other to third parties behind each other's back. Whatever. Classes continue. Sound design... well, I need to get my ass in gear. I was fired as house manager of the play this weekend, as it happens, without them telling me. I actually got things together before I found this out. So I just told everyone I'd just asked favors from [my potential cafe manager, my ushers] to drop it. Fuck MWRep; if they don't feel the need to tell me I was fired, then I don't feel the need to help them out.
More mundanities. Today in bowling class I rolled myself a 7-10 split, a 3-7-10 split, and a 5-7-10 split. I didn't manage the spare on any of them, of course. I might have gotten the 3 and 10 off the 3-7-10, but certainly didn't nail the others. Ah, well. Went bowling again at night. Didn't do any better. In fact, I did worse. Bowling's just not one of my skills. But that shouldn't stop me from getting credit for it.
The whole point of this entry was the first few paragraphs about Audrey... so I'm done. And I've got enough alcohol in me to pass out comfortably. Tomorrow, to New Hampshire for more. Hurrah. By the way, thanks to the two people who helped with the essay. Two.